its a saturday afternoon.
and im feeling inspired.
full of hopes and dreams.
imma make them a reality.
go nurul!

let me update a lil bit bout BE YOURSELF DAY yesterday.
it was quite a sad flop,if u were to ask me.
many of my classmates were absent.
caught a movie at lt2.don ask me wats the title,coz by now,I haf alr forgotten.
aft the movie,met a fren who was in a pyjamas, at the corridor.we were both bored souls.so,yeah,we ended up playing badminton.n the shuttlecock just had to hit my eye..uurgh.
aft the whole BYD thing has ended,met an ex-ajcian.she will be leaving for India tmr to further her studies in tamil lit.i find that really inspiring.to be away from ur loved ones to pursue ur dreams.

after tt, me n the hockey babes headed to town.it was cool,like always.being wif them rocks coz our conversations evolve ard anything and everything under the true blue sky.ironic at this may sound,we dont talk bt hockey.we took neos and I know I was really enjoying maself.woohoo! aft tt, the girls went for Madagascar n me, off to meet Bessie for pool.

on my way to the station,met cathy n her new bf.haha.new!we headed to borders n check out new bestsellings.now tt hols here, I reckon I haf some time to spare for my books indulgence.well,after I haf finished revision tt is.

aft tt was pool wif besse,glad tt her sore eyes had gone off.oh yeah..I tell u,damn sure tt the girl at the pool counter is gonna hate us,especially me, for as long as she lives..uurgh.
tauhid n nizar joined us aft their movie.n nizar was still sick,I guess.told him a million time to rest.but he ah..hais.-shake head- haha.
anyways,we had a mini match. the PROS (ie,me n tauhid) vs the-NOT-SO-PROS (ie,nizar n Bessie)-smirks- and of course,wif our unfailing tacTics,the pros won them all.
aft tt was hm..besse left alone to walk ard ps.i wanted to accompany her,but it was rather late.hmm..wonder y she wanted to be out so late.nizar left for nel I guess.hope he'll rest n recover well.
in the train,tauhid told me bt his back injury.oucch.sounds bad lah.as an ex-bio student (ahem!) i totally understand wats gg on wats gonna happen if things get worse.hope everything wil be alrite la.

today.imma meet the girls later to discuss stuffs.

im all set and ready for challenges!yups!

aargh!!oh no.he sms-ed me again today.like 3 msgs in a row.n i didnt reply.my fellow advisors told me not to.eeerggh!

today was a cool day.coz i got the first ever, record-breaking,morning msg frm maddie.and coz i practically came to sch late n wasnt caught.wwohoo! n tutorial was aight coz i've prepared my tutorials.pretty cool.

poor vans was sick.must haf been too caught up, thinkin bt tai sim.
pei lee too.too much burfday celebration.
well, get well soon dearies.

went to bishan wif darl gaya aft sch.talked bt stuffs.ate.went hm. met my CAPTAIN, denise, at the mrt station. tooo much arh!haha.

at hm.things just suck.i hate losers.i cant stand them.i feel tt its fucked up tt they don care.



im in a car rite now, im doing 90 on a freeway.

feelin all sucked up.the renovations gg on downstairs r reapin peace off me.tak tahan seh.the noise level is just so deafening.
besides, everything seems so bleak to me today.uurgh.
anyways,i woke up super late today n got an sms frm a fren.i dunno how to spell tis out,but the sms was kinda wacky. 3 words.i miss u.tts it.just 3 words but i felt so awkward bt it.n i tell u, i was a lil shocked arh.i just wanna b frens.nuthing more for now, maybe later n god knows,maybe forever.
well.now,despite many things happening ard me, I haf (at last) disentangled my knotty brain cells. its important to be sure of things. n rite now, more than ever, im sure of things. ders no need for me to look for someone to analyse things.ders no need to speak to anyone for advice on that..whoa,i really sound like a new era woman.


im breaking myself free from that uninspired and unimaginative world.
its me against the world.

inginku hidup bagaikan puteri
kisah khayalan yg hidupnya suci dan sempurna.
tapi sayang,hanya la
impian. bulan tak bisa tumbuh di taman.
dan bila mentari dtg
terpulanglah segala kenyataan.

stupid porn popups keep appearing on my screen.damn it.

my friday..
we played basketball.cool.i totally enjoyed it.made new frens.
mugged in the lib alone aft tt wen fanah came.n we talked.she analysed things for me..
oh yeah, pls pray for her mother's recovery.May Allah bless her wif the strength and faith to keep going.amin.
had hockey picture taking after school.cool. :)
met darling lynn at 5 plus.headed to lido for some stupid flick-amityville.waste money.
after tt, walkwalk.n yeah.do our normal thing.i love my darling lynn even tho she poured popcorns on me n didnt treat me dinner..(tak gune betul..jk!)

my saturday..
woke up early.its the first no-hockey-training day.actually i was planning to wake up late but i promised nizar to meet him in sch to do hmwk, so, i dragged myself outta bed.got ready n ate breakfast coz somebody doesnt want me to starve and shrink.anyways, i reached sch ard 8.30am.30 mins later than the time we were supposed to meet.but nizar was the ultimate one.he came ard 9 i think.haha.well, we did our hmwk n then went for lunch. i hate it wen i walk wif a guy n ppl alw gif tt stare.oh talking bt tis,me and cousin are planning to get a customised shirt tt says 'SHE'SMY BESTEST COUSIN' for himself and i'll get one tt says 'HE'S MY BESTEST COUSIN' and we plan to wear it wen we go out.haha.i just cant stand ppl staring at us..bleagh. anyways, flor performed just now.very pretty lah.the dance was a lil tacky.oh.naim didnt tell me he was attending the the college day.he said he wanted to surprise me.well, he really did!i was so surprised wen i saw him.haha.congrats naim!

i just finished blog hopping coz apparently, i haf nothing to do. well, i made a wise discovery.most of the girls' blogs talk bout guys.haha.like funny la.macam takde topik lain yg nak di-blog.asyik cakap pasal crush lah, ex-bf lah,eye candy lah. (err..m i one of them?) haha.but i haf no say lah.they haf the rights to blog bt watever they want.but i just find it a lil disturbing.. maybe they shd blog bt cute girls too.haha.like wat im planing to do now.
i saw a super cute girl at kfc.haha.she's so pretty ah.her eyes were captivating.and her voice totally rocks.so cute.im in lurve wif her :)

iknowthathe'sjealous.icantell.cozimjustsoclever.haha.butwhyshdhebejealous?heshdntbe.maybebecozidonfeeljealousoranything,tt'syithinkheshdntalso.

i talked to my besfren in sch today.its like i see him everyday but i kinda miss him.aiya.but girls are always liddat.they always miss their frens even when they see them everyday.

went to town just now to get za a burfday present.hope she loves it la.

im supposed to be out tmr doing cool things.but last min got a msg bt the photo taking.n the dinner at seoul garden.alamak!wat bout my initial plans? i don wanna cancel on my date.hehe.its been a looooong time since we watched movie together.i don wanna gif our plan a miss.uuurgh.for once, i support HUMAN CLONING.

anyway.its SAZWINA'S birthday tmr. i miss her seh.my crapping partner before bedtime and during kayaking expedition at e OBS camp..


>wat can i do to make u love me?
>wat can i do to make u care?
>wat can i say to make u feel this?
>wat can i do to get u there?

lynn.i'll answer u here lah.

ALFIYAN must be in bold! haha. u know why dont u? if not yan's name put hus? beg out of shape? haha.
and the song title, i dunno.but i promise u i'll sing it to u everytime u wanna hear. lalalala...
bout the NERD.haha.how many NERDs do i haf? haha.don worry lah.im not gonna go out wif him alone.haha.he's a potential terrrorist, rapist and yeah..the list goes on.

anyways.i just came hm.goodness.its only 5 and im oredi at hm.excellent.
tests were bad.uurgh. fagedit.

i cant wait for friday.got a very special special date.someone's gonna treat me to a movie.n that someone better treat me lunch or dinner also coz i treated that someone at macs last weds. haha.and if tt someone is reading this, tt someone better start saving rite now! *winks at lynn*

okies.wateverlah.

bout my day today...i was sitting ard minding my own business, doing my own things when an idea hit me like a nail in the head.not that eureka! kinda idea.but just a random thot. it dawned upon me that wat hong zhou said is so true.absence makes the heart grow fonder. lookin at things will remind me of the ppl i miss so much.u knoe wat i mean? when u dont get to see or meet the person, simple things can bring back all the memories.like wen i look at raisins 10 yrs frm now, i'll think of besse.or like wen ya'll look at the miss world 2010, u'll think of me.tt sorta thing...ok.just a thot.

anyway.i saw a girl waiting at my void deck last nite n she was wearing my JACKET!! the one tt rizal loves.haha.yeah. i was shocked.i bet she's my bro's gf. like wtf? tt's my jacket for pete's sake.but i didnt like go up to her n de-jacket her or anything.but i was fumin!dammit.

dont tell me that its over..
well.its over.no more hockey trainings.its nice to know tt i don haf to wake up early every sat and burn myself under the basking hot sun.but i do feel really sad.i dunno.but i just feel like a great big part of life has been removed frm my life.and i feel the loss.maybe i need some time to get used to no-more-hockey.sadness.

lookin at the brighter side,
now, i haf more time to spend wif my loved ones.
yups.frens and families.
oh yeah.studies too.
not forgetting God.

its time to get down to business...
no lah.im not gonna metamorphosise (is tt how u spell it?) into a full blown mugger.
but imma make sure im more focused now.

aight.im really looking fwd to the june hols.
-reunion picnic.
which means i get to see mardiana,khairul,luqman,ALFIYAN,saniah,taufik,adib n the rest lah.can hardly wait.
-pool outing wif NERD.
-shopping spree with SHAH at johor?
-m fazlin's wedding.
which means i'll most prolly get to meet my hmt grpies.aaah!!excited.
-syawal's birthday.
-madrasah outing??woohoo.sounds fun.
-oh yeah.last but not least, REVISION!!i'm excited to start revision.

gotta butt off now.

Yimagine me and u,
and u
and me.no matter how they toss the dice,it has to be, the only one for
me is u
and u for me.so happy together.Y

woke up today n felt terrible.thot bout yesterday's match.aargh.

went to sch.felt so sad.thot bout yesterday's match.aargh.

had pe.hate being sick.cant even make proper rounds..but basketball was aight.very funny too.got match next wk.steam face seems to choose bball as her new passion after credit cards and tai sim.haha.

went out with jereMUMmy, nizar, tauhid,wei chee and shara.caught house of wax which was totally a waste of time n money.it simply suck.but nick in tt movie was ultra,oh-so-drop-dead gorgeous.walked ard at bugis.wanted to get shah a birthday present.but somehow left my shopping mood at hm.oh.saw my distant relative.cant remember his name.he suck, so, i've nvr bothered to find out his name.he saw me and was like callin my name n pointed me to a girl beside him.like wth.n they started luffing.n smiled at me.likewth. i gave them my sweetest oh-so-fake smile back..bleah..anyway.the whole outing was aight.especially wen i had 3 guys to protect me against all evil-including themselves- as i strolled down bugis village.

met vick at somerset.chat with him for a mere 1 minute
and found out tt he got a
new band.new girlfren.still think i have the
nicest eyes( yippiness!).cant
believe im still single and said yes wen i
told him to intro me to the cutest
member in his band.
he
rawk.


>cousin has been nice to me lately.tt's y he's my favourite cousin.

>darling lynn is on her attachment.have fun sweets.

>stop asking me those qns.im single and i love life this way.

special entry for bloo.
nak name bloo.name betul taknak bilang.ingat cool sgt lah tu.haha.
ok.kau nak tau sgt ape aku feel bt those things tt happened to u rite?
actually aku pun tak sure.tapi aku rase kau cam egoistic ah.tak gune betul.memang patut terima sengsara! dang!sori ah.aku str fwd.
die dah mintak maaf per.kau tak baik ah marah2 die.aksyen jual mahal konon.haha. kau ingat kau bnyk cantik? (hehe.jk.jgn marah)
but seriously,lepas bace blog kau, i think u shdnt scold her liddat la.jus accept her apology.bukan susah sgt per.
buang yg keruh ambil yg jernih.kau jugak yg ajar aku last time.suroh aku jadi insan yg menerima kelemahan org lain.pastu skarang kau tunjuk attitude cam gini pulak. .meet her and ask her y she did tt.u knoe, did THAT.haha.aku taknak type kat sini.nanti satu dunia tahu pasal kekentalan kau.ok, i dunno if she's gonna answer tt qn.kalau dia jawab pun, belum tentu she's tellin the truth.but at least ask ah.mulut tu jgn berat sgt.jgn nak depend on takdir je.hai...
as u can tell, im a talking type of person.i prefer vocalizin my doubts or prblm than letting time to heal.kau kene put in a bit more effort ah.jgn jadi org pemalas ah.dahlah tiap2 hari duk kat depan com, tak ambik udara segar,confirm satu hari dpt penyakit nye.jadi.sebelum kau dapat heart attack depan imac kau,kau pegi jumpe si siti tu and clarify all tt confused thots u have.ok?
sms aku bile kau dah bace entry special edition ni.aha.

its funny. looking back into my diary that I wrote four years ago,I just found out that I was also having a fever back on the 10th of may 2001.weird.plus its funny how crazy I was over kenneth back then..omg. he rocks lah.

cough.cough.

enough of the past.the present.present.
I met arsyikin rennie at northpoint yesterday.gawd! her name is listed in my official missing ppl list.and jamakyah too.wat coincidence.brimming frm ear to ear-

I dunno y.ive been thinking bout the past a tad too much lately.i tried to black it out but it plays again.i miss the good ol' days.
reminiscing the days when life was simply kick-ass.unlike now.
watever..I want my old life back.badly.

y oh y am i saying all these? things change.i should be clever enough to be acquainted with the fact that our lives change too. but im yearning for everything I used to have back in those days..in retrospect,everything back then seems blissful. full of mischief.living life with no thought of the consequences. the fun we had.back then,everything was perfect.unlike now.

maybe ive grown..maybe when ure a day older today than u were yesterday,u wil think, see, feel things differently today from how u did yesterday.

GAWD.im talking as if im turning 40 tmr.

hhmm.i got reminded of a movie.13 going 30, about a 13 yr old girl who desperately wanted to be 30.like wth.such profound stupidity.i wud rather remain 13 than turn 30.
maybe the desire to remain young at heart in me is bubbling excessively..boiling chips pls. ok.lame.

I remember those lil stupid yet idyllic things I did with my associates.
played catching with the school OM at the back of the stage.made a 400 m sprint out of sch.(actually we planned to sneak out of sch calmly.but the stupid gardener spoilt our plan). trespassed someone else’s backyard n stole mangoes..gosh?wat were we thinking man.and the OBS camp rock.we played blind mice on the roof..don ask for elaboration.wat bt sashaying into an exclusive boutique, try out the most expensive coat and leave a foundation stain on it w/o getting caught? oh yeah, me n my girls sneaked into the roof of shaw house.great view of town fr there..oh yeah, I remember one incident when Pat got into trouble with laura.i cant believe tt I actually went up to tt gangstrous laura and defended my bestfren, PATRICIA NIVASHINI.haha.such admirable portrayal of bravery and frenship.

guess I better butt off now.peace outt.

im feeling so sick rite now.nvr felt tis sick.

so suriyati and lynn claimed i looked pathetic wen im sick..haha.dun care.
im havin a runny nose n my throat's so sore.i have all the rights in the world to look pathetic.
haha.lame.

i've been spending my whole day sleeping.and all those weird dreams.eergh.
slept like a sleeping beauty...and bessie told me not to wake up till my prince charming comes.

i better start reading my spa notes now.aargh.

im feeling so sick rite now.nvr felt tis sick.

anyhoots, at madrasah just now,e guys presented their project.wahah.so funny.nuri was damn sissy lor.giant also.ahaks.n the talking tree.n the talking dustbin.klakar gile.too bad my bestfren wasnt there.haha..

im missing my old frens so much.
im missing syafiah!!!!!
cathy.
lynnette.
shafiqah!!!
naz.
aishah blu
aisyah brown.
adilah.
sazwina.
tobing lanata.
arsyikin rennie.
agnes.
leo.
alfiyan.
my cousin!!
clarissa ginger.
liyana.
kym.
firdaus.
yuanie.
hijanah!!!
jamakyah.
yani.
saniah.
nick.
kenneth tjen kin lee!!!!!!

maybe i shd pick up the phone n start smsing them rite now.

lim feeling sick.sore throat.and i feel like dying.
very disappointed with things.

lright now, my head is flooded with thoughts.
i hate the fact tt i tend to think too much, unnecessarily.
sometimes i hate to question things.
but i need to know.
but with things going on the way they aint supposed to,
i think i wont find the answer.
i think i will have more to ask..
aargh.wat de heck.

lanyways, my darling old fren, kim, is getting married.
may god bless her.
she's only 19.
brave enough to take tt vow.
've nver seen my future fren-in-law.
but from kim's description and overly-excited stories thru the phone,
i've concluded tt he's the ONE.
love my kim to bits.
kim's gonna stay in Indonesia for at least a year or so.
guess i wont get to see her in the near future.
love my kim to bits.

lanyways.someone asked me a qn.i know the very exact rite answer.
but wat i do not knoe is, whether theres truth to that right answer.

li WILL find out who's the girl he likes.

li hate losers.

hey.havent blogged for quite sometime.
apparently, i've lost the mood n inspiration.
and com at hm just fails on me.

where shd i start?

tournament.
hockey? we lost to 2 schs. no.no. we aint givin up.
its irritating.
its just heart-breaking.
we have to learn with it.
grit our teeth.n move on.
aaaah.

peilee.basketball.
seems to be aight.they made it to the q final.
all the best sugar.
such a player like u, wont bring the team down.
aj jia you!

aj harmoc.
darling steamface.she was quite upset lah.
harmoc only managed to clinch
a silver award.

bessie had her cldds competition.
she worked hard. real hard.
but sometimes, luck is not on us.
aj cl lost.

soccer.
they said its over.
husband was so sad lah.
he went to punggol park n stoned aft tt match.

volleyball.
they were very very good.
when u try to do better.try to take risks,
things dont work out well.
but its ok.
bravery and courage.
tt's wat we haf.

rugby,
i think they lost.
must go and ask him bout it.

failures.
they are just a part of us.




always look on the bright side of life.
smile!


oh yeah!! kim is getting married.talk more bt tis layta.