Friday, January 13, 2006
hullo.
i had an interesting conversation with a fren last nite. so, there were we talking bout what we want to do before our next birthday. mine being just 6 mths away. and that, may i clarify, is not a long way to go. im turning 19 like so soon..haha.no la.im not gile ke ape2, talking bt turning 19 wen im still a fresh 18 tough cookie. haha.tough cookie sey. mrs field's soft cookie tak main ah. ok.wat am i talking.
anw, back to the first thing i mentioned-what i want to do before turning 19.
before i can even plan things, maybe i shd look back and check if i haf done much for the past 18 yrs of my dear life. being a singaporean teenager (i was contemplating b/w teenage s'porean and singaporean teenager..but the latter suits better la..ahaha..mcm betul je) pretty much means that im stuck in school. have been stuck in sch. and most prolly, will be stuck in sch.but the future comes later..(since we're doing some history studies here). so, things inevitably evolved ard sch and the academia.ironically, very myopic. if u don understand, nvm...my theory is very abstract..haha. erm i feel like i've wasted much of the precious time Allah has given me. i still rmb wat ustazah said, our teenage life will, beyond any doubt, be responsible for who we'll be in the future..kalau sepanjang teenage life awak suke berpoya-poya, dah besar ah! terok la awak! tt was wat she said.to the whole class la, not to me only..haha. tapi memandangkan aku sorang je yg concentrate dlm class( heheheh..masuk bakul angkat sendiri.) its as good as she telling me only.
since god-knows-when, i've been in sch. i didnt do any out-of-the-world wonders. didnt break any records. never made headlines. sedih.haha.. but then again mane bole semua org break records or make headlines.. betul tak? betul?
mr bloggie: BETUL!
haa..baguss. but then, tt doesnt mean i can just get away frm the guilt of having wasted god's precious gift-the time he's given me. aah.got reminded of al-'asr. the time. time is always in favour of those who haf faith, live clean and pure lives, and know how to wait, in patience and constancy..
im ok with the waiting in patience and constancy part la. but the faith, live clean and pure lives...i haf to go 'errrmmmm...'
i realised tt i haf been too pampered, in fact most of us are. no, im not jus talking bt the 'money and material goods pampered' type, but more. we're so pampered. we don need to wake up early to walk 3 km to sch, we dun need to eat nasi and gula only, we dun need to help our parents sell thrash to get money. we haf freedom (may not be much, but still..) and alhamdulillah, good lives, if not, wonderful. coz of these, we live in an illusion..sweeping statement eh. a bit la. sweep sikit je. belum lagi pakai vacuum.hur hur. yeah. we live in an illusion. our problems are mostly keduniaan and ke'materialistik'an.ooops.kebendaan i mean. hehh.kamus dewan tertinggal kat rumah azra. yeah...kebendaan. problems with school, money, having fun, wants wants wants..haha..yeah. we forget what lies beyond tt. either we forget, or are just oblivious to the more spiritual needs. wahahaha..wat am i talking?! if u all don understand wat im talking, nvm la.just put ur own fullstop here.
hahaaa..senang cakap, i feel like my lifestyle has yet to lead me somewhere. lifestyle. yeah. i dunno bout sch yet.so, we shall give it a miss first. things like hanging out with friends, sauntering aimlessly, playing hockey, window shopping, reading books, doing volunteer work, watching movies and everything la.. so what if i've done all that?! so what? huh? huh? tell me?
mr bloggie: eh..relaks la!
yaaaa..i just feel like my life has no meaning. maybe its the hormone in me.haha.erm. ya. the hormones tt are urging me to be a more useful person to myself and everybody else, dunia dan akhirat. hormones ape tah.. cannot be testosterone rite..ok.lame.
anw, i think the ultimate reason why im saying and talking bt all these thing is that, i stil have a lot to do in life which i cant possibly complete before the calendar shows 16 july 2006. yikess!
yesss.
so i told my fren, tt one thing i wanna do before turning 19 is to do a volunteer work tt seriously satisfy me. u know sometimes we volunteer this n tt, but at the end of the day, we dun really feel fulfilled..tts my problem. so, before turning 19, i wana break my own records. im so gonna start doing real volunteer work. yupps.
second on the list, with no order of priority, is to be a good muslim! aaargh..im so sinful. yes.so sinful. i shall not dwell more on tt..so paiseying. i hate being engulfed in guilt..
next, is to enjoy my passion. yupps. watever it may be. i must now, do things with passion. no more do-for-the-sake-of-doing kinda thang.yups.
on a more micro level, here are the things i wanna do before turning 19, bearing in mind to learn/gain something from them.
1. go canoeing with frens.
2. pick up tennis.
3. set up a hadith discussion grp.
4. join a women's club. haha.got or not? besides girl guides.
5. visit the senior citizen welfare hm regularly.
6. learn to sew with the sewing machine
7. register for a religious class.
8. visit the oh-so-famous museums in singapore.
9. have a hamster.
10. pegi tgk teater! aiyahh..so long nvr go.
11. write a sajak. hahha.
12. go on a holiday without my parents.
13. meet up old frens.
14. bake more.
15. go mesjid more often! ahah.yes.
16. do one big thing. i dunno wat.but yeah.one big thing.
weeeeeeeeee.i talked a lot today.
actually i talked a lot last nite, and today, i just wanna pen down wat i said yesterday. hehe..for the sake of safekeeping. ok.watever.
rite now, im gonna make somthing tt can store as well as diplay my earrings n other accesories..hah.yeahh.ciao.
sunday: meeting pat dearest. yay!
mon: trial final test.
tues: first driving prac and my first session wif my students! (:
weds: second driving prac
thurs: third driving prac and my second session wif my students! (:
i just haf to smile more and enjoy life.
weeeee.
live.learn.love.
its all said and done
1/13/2006 02:12:00 PM
